Bill Clinton Virus v 1.0 - It has a six inch hard drive and no memory. Freezes entire system due to unresolved memory conflicts.

Bill Clinton virus v 6.0 - Automatically connects to every URL in your Internet browser's list of bookmarks, then it tells you emphatically that your computer never made any connections...to any URL...because since it didn't transmit and receive simultaneously, it wasn't really connected.

BILL GATES VIRUS - This dominant strain searches for desirable features in all other viruses via the internet. It then either engulfs the competing viruses or removes their access to computers until they die out.

Bin Laden (aka Al Qaeda) virus - displays threatening messages and spawns numerous smaller viruses that periodically destroy files. The Bin Laden virus and its spawned viruses are being seen less and less frequently and may be becoming extinct due to the spread of the George W. Bush virus.

George W. Bush virus v 2.0 - Tells you it's going to eliminate all other viruses from your computer but that it may take a long time. Then it actually does scan your computer and eliminate viruses. It also scans for Programs of Mass Destruction (PMD), which are programs that destroy a lot of files if they are run. PMDs may be caused by a number of other viruses, such as the Saddam Hussein virus. The only problems with the George Bush virus are that it uses up a lot of your computer's resources while it's scanning, it never seems to find any PMDs, and it keeps switching the background color on your computer screen back and forth between yellow and orange.

George W. Bush virus v 1.0 - Doesn't do anything, but you can't get rid of it until November.

DOLLY PARTON VIRUS - It sounds pretty good, but you'd swear your monitor looks larger and have more knobs than it used to. DEFLATE.COM removes it.

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